i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
