East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
