Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
