$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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