You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
