is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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