I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
