A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
