out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
