I just pynch a tree in the face
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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