I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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