I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
