Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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