I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
