At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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