Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Two words: nipple clamps
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