my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
