I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
