Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
