Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
