So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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