I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
