guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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