Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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