FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
