dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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