i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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