At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
