the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
