We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
