dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
