not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
