I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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