Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
