just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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