Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
