just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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