No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
