he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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