Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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