His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
