is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Your penis caused this!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
