I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
