If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
