Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
