apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
