How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
