ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
