We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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