i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
