i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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