..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
