so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
